The horses are in the gates. The jockey’s are wearing their silks and the bell will sound, just long enough to “spark” that glorious animal to Go, Baby Go. They will run, and only one, will make it to the finish line as “The Winner.” They will receive the annual garland of red roses. Yes, it’s The Kentucky Derby. And when all is said and done, the other horses, will be lead off, exhausted and spent, until another day comes when they will either race again, or retire to a land of plenty with……hay bails, sunshine and rest.
This is how I feel I have spent my last few years. Running hard, racing fast and missing this illusional marker called success just by an inch or two. I would be lying to you all if I said, inside my mind and my deep emotional being, it has been just as exciting, disappointing and creative to watch my life continue to unfold. And as FAST the Kentucky Derby.
Many times I have been sent back to “the barn”, to retrain, reevaluate and rejuvenate my broken heart so that I can once again, be placed into the gates and run. And like any bright and sunny Kentucky Derby Day, the glory of the silks, the sounds of the people and the anticipatory chances that you just may “win” keeps me coming back for more. 🙂
I hope this time, I have prepared myself for the road ahead. For two years solid, hour upon hour, I have read, studied and concentrated on helpful resources that cultivated richly, my emotional energy. And as I Publically and Privately put myself on the “proverbial alter,” I have scarified my feminine heart, only to hold myself accountable to find happiness and peace.
Not everyone has understood, nor did they agree in what I was doing? How does a woman who is so good at her job, walk away from making almost six figures, have the conscious to put the responsibility to provide on everyone else? I mean where is the cut off after 20 years of being the sacrifical bread winner as “the mom” have it’s tipping point? My saving grace is that I am married to someone who “get’s” it and through all the possibilities of change, supports this insanity 100% and without shame. Praise Jesus.
Well it is because we both knew it was not my highest best to work 60 hours a week for people who appreciated nothing you did in Spiritual or Ethical terms, it can destroy the very being God has called you to be. It was not my highest best to inherit other people’s irresponsible messes and try as I may to haved stay “positive” in it all so I could be “paid” well, I came home drained, hurt and empathetically a wreck serving none of my family as a good wife, mother and daughter should. All I really ever wanted to do was send light, bring love to everything and like Jesus, work miracles everywhere I went. Year after year people would say how awesome I was, when really I wasn’t. I would preach and teach at church and lead women’s ministries around and around in circles based on one form of thinking.
When we deny what we are called to do but don’t quite make the finish line, it frustrates you. But much time has passed and when we stop denying ourselves certain “truths” we can then choose to do things that we are called to do, and without fear for money, social status and materialist gain. We need money, we need to pay our bills and we need to get our kids to a place where they are able to make it on their own but we also need to follow OUR OWN path.
It is purposed in my natal chart that I hold a different path when it comes to supporting people. It is when I began to use my Reiki knowledge and turn myself back to my Minister’s Heart, that I felt whole, complete and genuine. The acting classes I am taking and the job I had at the salon (and the other small side jobs I had) were extremely purposeful for my by been merely “educationing” myself about other peoples energy and it all taught me to learn live authentically. And today, I get it. I really do! I really can sit here and say, my emotional flip flops have produced medicinal benefits so that I could obtaining rites to teach other “ladies” to relinquish their PRIDE and do the same.
I am grateful that all of that happened because through the uneasiness in my decisions, it brought me to the place where I know what I REALLY want to do, and open my doors to offer healing services as we work within Divine Energy. And if LG& E can charge me for their energy, then there is nothing wrong with charging people for mine. You see, really, you are not paying an “energy worker” for the healing or the outcome, you are paying them for their time and their education just AS THEY WORK TO HELP YOU.
So many people think you are a bad “witch” or a swindler or traitor to offer to read cards for them or offer to minister to them in song or theater or comedy. Or what about when you assist them with events like weddings, or births or funerals? Should you NEVER charge for your services as an Healer? Then why do we pay PREACHERS, TEACHERS, PROFESSORS, CAB DRIVERS and SOCIAL WORKERS to serve us? Why do we pay POLITICIANS and NANNY’S and STREET CLEANERS and BEAUTICIANS? We pay them for their service to us, the people and for their expertise and time.
“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
PROVIDE and PROMOTE and SECURE and ESTABLISH. Sound’s A LOT like Marketing to me. 🙂
So, where am I today?
- I am finalizing my space to offer individual Reiki Treatments to Woman in Louisville and Southern Indiana. I am not currently offering my services to Men for several reasons, as what I am channelling may not exactly geared toward their primal nature. I can refer men to other practicers who wish to do so. The Website is almost done, the rates are set and the business cards are on order.
- I am also enrolling in educational classes to become a Doula. What is a Doula you ask? A Doula is an assistant to a Mid-Wife, Nurse or Doctor during and sometimes after birth. Doula’s bring powerful support to mothers and like the days of old, are there to provide the family physical and emotional support. I am VERY excited about this practice because the moment that child takes their first breath, the light of this life turns on and blessings should magically abound around this little one for THEIR highest good. Just as a minister may baptize and anoint a child into a certain spiritual path, my Doula service intends to do the same. The moment that baby takes in the great Violet Breath of Life, there will be a gatekeeper of love, holding their life in sacred space, and the life of the mother and that is going to make me VERY HAPPY!
- I am now ordained in ministry by the ULC and I will be offering services as a NON-DEMONINATIONAL Clery. Weddings, Births, Funerals, whatever is needed. I am not doing this to be “exalted” but so that I can “exalt” my brothers and sisters in times of need, celebration and change. So services have fees and some do not and as a true minister, it really does not matter to me either way. Serventhood is first, eating is second. It is pretty obvious don’t you think.
- I am working to hold powerful Women’s Workshops in order to talk about how we can Celebrate Rites of Passage, Celebrate the Cycles of our lives as it pertains to nature and learn how we can lean on one another by building relationships with Art, Reading, Nature and Idea Sharing. I am going to teach about Emotions and Chakras and Astrology and the Potential that we have been here before and we may return again. I want to be an open guidepost for Women’s Empowerment and that term is highly misunderstood. You see, there is a deep cry from Mother Earth to speak her voice so that MEN and CHILDREN are surrounded by Strong Mothers, Sisters and Wives. Men need us to be strong and balanced. They do!! NEVER has my marriage been so strong. NEVER have I been able to open up and connect with my husband, and partner as I have before now that I OWN my rites as a women. It is my “MOTHER” cycle time in the here and now and the triple Goddess KNOWS her place on earth when her eyes are open to the changes and transformations afforded to a Woman.
- I am working with a group of ladies who want to reach deep into our underprivideged teen ages girls and we are brainstorming on how to build a NFP here in the city. We believe our Public Education system is NOT incorporating the values of Womanhood into our teen age girls’s lives, so we will. It is a mentorship program and we hope to launch this in the fall. (NEED VOLUNTEERS!!!)
- I am finishing up my acting classes and I am looking for creative ways to present these creative arts to the World just by saying I can. The world of entertainment saturates our emotional being and it is fun, challenging and promoting. I am auditioning for a play in October and I am looking to do stand up comedy this summer at The Laughing Derby.
- I am planning on obtaining a Yoga Certification in late 2016.
- I am drafting books for future release and I will keep on blogging so that you can follow along.
- And I am volunteering when I can as needs arise because this is JUST WHAT I DO.
So, I am hopeful that you see where I am coming from as a POWERFUL WOMAN and the race is on. Everyone knows I shoot straight on these blogs. I choose to shoot straight. And, I pray for God to send me great support so that as I walk in the realism of what I am chancing to do, it will come to pass. I will not fail because there are no failures. I will not apologize anymore because it has all already been said. I will continue to look for ways to release this passionate, creative, life force energy regardless of the obstacles that materialism brings us and I will live the rest of my life KNOWING, I will leave a Legacy for my Daughter, Emily. I love my Son and I love my Husband but truly, so much of what I want to pass on is for woman and she is my heritage. If I can pass these mysteries on with my services, then I have what I consider my moment of success.
Place your bet’s people. The Reiki Station® is on it’s way!